Nov 29, 2010

A Manifesto

I don't normally rant here...

I have to make a public declaration. A manifesto. That's the only way I can hold myself accountable for my life and what happens therein.

I wouldn't say that I mess up a lot in my life. In fact, I do the opposite. I try to be as safe as possible, and I think I've done a good job at being extraordinarily ordinary because of that. But this is not a rant on how boring I am and how I need to change that by seeing the earth's four corners in one year.

This is about how I've managed to come to a point where I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis while simultaneously feeling like crib-ridden toddler.  I hate to sound like my life is the worst, because it's not. This can't wait, I was hoping to be making these things all New Year;s Resolutions, but I'll have to address them now. It's bugging me that much.

  • Why the hell, at 19-years-old, can I not drive? I really don't know how. Yes, there was no one to teach me. Yes, there was no car available for me to learn in. But I don't want to use excuses anymore. Driving classes were always an option, but why would I pay over $100.00 for 2 hours of driving practice. That seems hardly sufficient and very out of my college budget. ALTHOUGH, I hate the price, I'll have to save up. I need to get my license. Being 20 in 2011 will not reach me without my driver's license.
  • Yes, yes. This one tends to show up a lot. As an "almost fashion blogger" it seems the more money you have to spend the more prestigious you are. I'm not willing to go there yet. I know I can be in that world without having deep pockets, so it's not just that. It's the going out, and the buying for friends and bills and it all adds up. I have to budget myself. I know I make enough money to not worry, but here I am worrying. It doesn't help when people around you are looking to you monetarily either. I don't want to worry anymore. I'm too young to have money woes.
  • Now that I live on my own, my eating habits have drastically changed. I literally have gone grocery shopping all of 3 times since I moved in with my roommates in August. Why? Well, for one I'm scared. When I buy groceries, half is gone before I even get to them. I don't want to spend money so others can eat it all. I don't mind sharing, but it disappears so fast. So I've been reduced to eating out a lot and snacking constantly. I rarely have balanced meals anymore. Exercise, now that's not hard to do. I have 2 decent gyms at my disposal and 2 girls willing to work out with me. I just need to manage my time better so I have the energy to do it. And sleep, I really need to not go to bed at 2 a.m.
  • I'm from New York, so it's in my blood. Not the illegal street hustling, but networking, meeting people, getting opportunities. I know it's possible in Atlanta, but it's hard to get around seeing as I don't drive. I know I have potential to do it. I love being a Journalist, but if I can get in deeper with my make-up too, I'd die happy. I've missed so many opportunities because I can't get places. Which brings me back to Problem Driving. I will be proactive with my life. (I've been considering moving back to NYC)
For the most part, that's it. Like I said, my life isn't miserable. I just need to get a few things in order, all the minor details will fall into place afterward.

Audrey W.
---Give Good Face

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